Spilling the Anxie-Tea: Tips & Tricks to Survive It

Anxiety has been a lifelong struggle for me. Without realizing it at the time, it now makes sense why I would get frustrated to the point of uncontrollably shaking when doing my multiplication homework in elementary school because I just couldn’t get it and didn’t want to disappoint.

It now makes sense why I would get shortness of breath in stressful situations, without actually depriving myself from oxygen because “nothing was wrong with my respiratory system”, as the doctor informed me. But rather, from the imaginary feeling of an elephant sitting on my chest.

It took 15 years to figure it out, and five more to learn how to deal with it to the best of my abilities. There was a lot of trial and error, and I still mess up sometimes by doing things I think will help me but actually don’t. Like having no portion control when I eat midnight snacks. But there are also things that I try to stick to because they never fail to make me feel better.

For example, hanging with my dog helps a lot. Apart from his comforting fluff, the fact that he has no complicated expectations of me makes me feel safe. As long as he’s fed and clean, he’s good to go. So once that’s done, taking him for a walk around the block to clear my head makes us both happy. Exercise is a good way to focus on something else for a while, because your body is active more than your mind.

Sometimes just listening to music at full volume when driving can be of aid. It’s a pretty short commute from my home to UTEP, but it’s a lonely one. So, I blast my music and have very badly sung, solo Karaoke sessions. I either make myself laugh when I miss the keys or make myself proud when I harmonize effortlessly.

Not taking life too seriously and learning to love my mistakes has been such a stress-reliever. I say “love my mistakes” because while it still disappoints me that I make them, I love them because there’s a lesson embedded in each one of them. Those lessons help me grow as an individual, and help me give advice on similar situations that other people I care about may be experiencing.

Another thing that helps, is talking things out with my best friend. She’s my rock, my one and only unconditional supporter, and my biggest reality check. She’s patient and kind, but the thing that helps me the most about our conversations is that she keeps it real and logical. We have a very kind friendship, where we help each other deal with our struggles as small as they may be. By finding solutions to each other’s problems, we distract ourselves from our own.

However, finding someone who I could rely on was a big obstacle in this journey. With this in mind, I’ve come to realize that a big part of dealing with anxiety is also how the people around you adjust. Some people were really supportive at first, but then gave up when things got hard. Which only gave me extra anxiety about not making others frustrated.

But then we have people like my closest friends and family that know a good joke will make me smile and forget about the hard parts of life. Or know that by giving me a double chocolate Grandma’s cookie will make me feel significantly better. They know that by complimenting my makeup, my face will light up instantly and I’ll feel like I can conquer the world simply because my eyeshadow sparkles.

They know the little things to do and say, that will outweigh the big things that make me struggle. The key is, having supportive friends and family, and learning to let go of the people in your life that bring more negativity than positivity to the table.

Also, to never forget that nobody is perfect. It sounds very cliché, but Hannah Montana was right all along. Nobody knows all the answers to life, and everybody is struggling with something. But as long as you have people who want to help, and as long as you want to help yourself, everything will fall into place.

So, if you’re struggling with midterms or finals, or the person who you want to text you hasn’t, or if you have any other problem, as big or small as it may be, I hope this blog inspired you to figure out what works for you in difficult times and gave you ideas on where to start.